Something I learned this semester from Brother Williams that I will never forget is when speaking about a certain pattern, relationship, or attitude he would say, "It's not natural....it's divine." Let's talk a little bit about the family and it's divinity......
The Family: A Proclamation To The World says, "The Family is Ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan...... Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities." Think about that. "The Family is ordained of God". To Ordain is " to destine" or "to confer holy orders upon" (dictionary.com). So, God has said that the family is holy and has been given a great destiny and purpose. And divine is heavenly or celestial (dictionary.com). So the family being holy with a great destiny is meant to be celestial. But as each and everyone of us families bring both that heavenly divine joy and the wrack and torment us with pain and sorrow. It is our duty to overcome those pains of torment and seek out the divinity of the Family. This may often seem beyond our capacity; But, it isn't beyond the Lord's. Dating is difficult. Engagements are crazy difficult. And the transition into marriage, marriage, and parenthood may feel downright painful and impossible to bear. But a wise marriage and family therapist and BYU-I professor once said, "Marriage helps us become much more than human." From what I've seen, marriage isn't for the weak, but the weak get married. So as we begin our marriages we must begin to overcome our weaknesses, become increasingly more Christ-like, discover and love the divinity of marriage and family, and become more than we are. We must become what we are destined to be in marriage and family life. It is in these divine stages of life that we gain our celestial glory.
Saturday, December 14, 2013
The myth behind Julie and Todd
It's definitely not as easy as Julie and Todd make it seem in Saturday's Warrior. As the song goes, "I've seen that smile somewhere before. I've heard your voice somewhere before. It seems we've talked like this before....'Sometime, who can be certain when...'...'But if I knew you then, it's strange, I can't remember.....' ". Trust me. As a little girl, teenager, and young adult I've seen and heard Saturday's Warrior over 100 times (yes, I know that seems insane) and I always thought that one day I would find my prince charming, someone I'd met in the preexistence who I was destined to find. Fortunately (and sometimes unfortunately) in my teen years, I discovered that Saturday's Warrior is not doctrine. Sorry, ladies. But, you most likely didn't meet the man of your dreams in the preexistence; and if you did, you probably will never find him here on Earth. Okay, okay. I really am not a Debbie downer and I do believe in true love and like most girls I LOVE a good Cinderella story, but dating is not what Julie makes it out to be and true love can be created with almost anyone in the world.
We've all dreamt of finding the "one", but is that really how it works. Is there really only ONE person out there that I am meant to spend eternity with? If that is true, how does that fit into Heavenly Father's merciful plan? It DOESN'T and it is NOT true. In 1976 President Kimball said this about soul mates and marriage, " 'Soul mates' are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price.There is a never-failing formula which will guarantee to every couple a happy and eternal marriage; but like all formulas, the principal ingredients must not be left out, reduced, or limited. The selection before courting and then the continued courting after the marriage process are equally important, but not more important than the marriage itself, the success of which depends upon the two individuals—not upon one, but upon two." President Kimball continues to explain that the formula for lasting marriages includes: proper and thoughtful selection and an agreement to work toward a successful marriage, great unselfishness, continued courting and affection throughout the marriage, and complete obedience to the commandments. As we study dating and the laws of attraction we learn that we date those who we are physically attracted to, those who live near us, and those with whom we have commonalities. As we do that and follow President Kimball's counsel I am certain that we won't find the Todd to our Julie, but we will find someone who can complement us and who we can build eternal lives with. Now, isn't that better than someone who can finish our sandwiches.....I mean sentences.
We've all dreamt of finding the "one", but is that really how it works. Is there really only ONE person out there that I am meant to spend eternity with? If that is true, how does that fit into Heavenly Father's merciful plan? It DOESN'T and it is NOT true. In 1976 President Kimball said this about soul mates and marriage, " 'Soul mates' are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price.There is a never-failing formula which will guarantee to every couple a happy and eternal marriage; but like all formulas, the principal ingredients must not be left out, reduced, or limited. The selection before courting and then the continued courting after the marriage process are equally important, but not more important than the marriage itself, the success of which depends upon the two individuals—not upon one, but upon two." President Kimball continues to explain that the formula for lasting marriages includes: proper and thoughtful selection and an agreement to work toward a successful marriage, great unselfishness, continued courting and affection throughout the marriage, and complete obedience to the commandments. As we study dating and the laws of attraction we learn that we date those who we are physically attracted to, those who live near us, and those with whom we have commonalities. As we do that and follow President Kimball's counsel I am certain that we won't find the Todd to our Julie, but we will find someone who can complement us and who we can build eternal lives with. Now, isn't that better than someone who can finish our sandwiches.....I mean sentences.
I am a Child of God and.....So Are You
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Question Time!
This is going to be a little different than anything I normally post, but I want to hear your thoughts on these questions. This week in Family Relations, we were discussing culture as it relates to family an Brother Williams posed and interesting question: Are all cultures equally valid?
So here are a couple of things we had to define in order to answer this question as a class. What is culture? What is the meaning of valid? And can something be valid in one's eyes, but not the eyes of another? So we looked up the words valid and culture. As defined by dictionary.com, "valid is sound, just, or well founded" and culture is, "the behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic, or age group". So, it is perfectly reasonable to assume that the validity of one culture, may vary from culture to culture and even in the eyes of God and man.
Here's my question to all of you, keeping in mind the definitions of valid and culture-- Are all cultures equally valid in accomplishing the purpose of the family unit?
So here are a couple of things we had to define in order to answer this question as a class. What is culture? What is the meaning of valid? And can something be valid in one's eyes, but not the eyes of another? So we looked up the words valid and culture. As defined by dictionary.com, "valid is sound, just, or well founded" and culture is, "the behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic, or age group". So, it is perfectly reasonable to assume that the validity of one culture, may vary from culture to culture and even in the eyes of God and man.
Here's my question to all of you, keeping in mind the definitions of valid and culture-- Are all cultures equally valid in accomplishing the purpose of the family unit?
Parts of a Whole Pullin' Together
Parts of a Whole Pullin' Together
When I think of
a role, I often think of someone playing a part like an actor or actress
portraying a character with specific duties and qualities. In also think of
function and order. For example what is the function of an alternator in a car, what part does it play in helping the car
run, and how does it influence the other parts of the car? Just as the
alternator receives the vital charge from starter which receives a charge from
the battery so that our cars can start, we too play vital roles in helping our
families to function. What is your role or function? Are you the listener? Or
are you the peacemaker? Are you the rebel or the one that your parents don’t
have to sweat about? Every person in a family plays a role. We see it in our
own families and in fictional families as well. Just think back to that
wonderful family drama that we all loved so much….7th Heaven! Well I
loved it, even if no one else did. ;)
7th
Heaven was family drama that aired from 1996-2007 on The WB and later CW about
a typical Anglo-Saxon protestant family.
I use typical because while they were supposedly the normal, happy and
perfect minister’s family they had 7 children, definitely faced their own interesting challenges
and were far from typical. As early
as the very first episode of season one we can that even within this “typical”
family each member played a specific and established role. We see in this
episode as well as almost every episode to follow Annie Camden (the mom) plays
the fixer/ handy man. She takes action to fix problems and anything broken in
house, while her husband Reverend Eric Camden is busy talking to teach his
community and children life lessons and fix other types of problems. Matt
Camden, the oldest brother, seems to have all of the wisdom when it comes to
the things around the house, his siblings, and the world and is always there to
protect and counsel his younger siblings. Mary, the eldest daughter, is the one
with the crazy ideas and schemes. She has good intentions, but her ideas tend
to be a little farfetched. Lucy, the middle child for most of her life, is VERY
emotional and always wears her heart on her sleeve. Simon, in later episodes
known as “The Bank of Simon” for his ability to manage money, is the negotiator
and businessman of the family. Ruthy, while very young during the first season,
is smart, witty, and cute and eventually as she ages that plays to her
advantage as well. As different as each member of the Camden family is there
are always there to support and uplift one another, but each in their uniquely
talented way. We can see that while these roles seen in the very first episode are
apparent as the Camden family grows in numbers and matures, but at times there
are also shifts and changes in their roles order to accommodate familial and
personal growth and maturation.
So ponder this—what
role do you play in your family? Is it the same role you played 5, 10, 15, or
more years ago? And does the role you play or still play have a positive effect
on your family?
It’s definitely
hard at times to know our roles in our families as we change and grow, but as
we change and grow for the better always sticking together and looking out for
one another it’ll all work out. Just as we need all the parts of our car- the
engine, battery, starter, alternator, etc. we need all parts and roles in our
families in order to get through the thick and thin. As it goes in Pullin’
Together from Saturday’s Warrior, “All alone we just can’t make it by ourselves
we fall behind, but if we lift and pull together we can help each other climb.....We've got a father and mother, sister and brother, pullin' together we can work it out....."
Saturday, September 28, 2013
"I thought someone was missing...."
Julie: "I thought someone was missing."
Jimmy: "Hey now, those aren't tears. Are they?"
Ernie: "What's wrong with her?"
Alice: "I think she's just sad cuz she's the last one and she's worried that by the time it's her turn Mom and Dad might be out of gas."
Shelly: "Not want her?"
Jimmy: "You don't really believe that, do you Emily?"
Benji: "Of course, it's easy to understand why she might be worried. 1.7 kids per family, not to mention abortion..."
Jimmy: "Sshh! Benji! Don't ever say that word.
Shelly: "It's terrible!"
Julie: "If people only knew what they were doing...."
Pam: "Our family wouldn't be complete without you, Emily."
Emily: "But lots of people make promises about going to families, and then they break them."
Many of you may remember this seen from the film Saturday's Warrior when the Flenders children dispel little Emily's worries about being able to come to earth and go to their family, her chosen family. Well we don't exactly know how accurate this depiction is or how our families are chosen before this life or how exactly spirits are effected by our choices (at least I don't), but this scene gives us a lot to think about. Are we willing to live without a piece of our family because we decided that having children is too much trouble? What counsel are we given in respect to the number of children we have? And does it really matter how many children we have?
Elder Melvin J. Ballard said, "The greatest mission of woman is to give life, earth-life, through honorable marriage, to the waiting spirits, our Father’s spirit children who anxiously desire to come to dwell here in this mortal state." So we know that there are spirit children waiting to come to earth and it is our mission to multiple and replenish, so that like little Emily these spirits won't have to wait any longer than necessary for their turn on earth,but does this mean we all need to have dozens of children? No. True to the Faith gives counsel on this matter, "....you and your spouse will be prepared to prayerfully decide how many children to have and when to have them. Such decisions are between the two of you and the Lord." As sons and daughters of a Heavenly Father we claim the right to receive personal revelation from Him and to use our agency. The amount of children we have IS indeed important and DOES affect our families and the entire world, but each family is different with different circumstances and our Heavenly Father knows that. Okay so we know what the prophets have counseled in regards to having children and if the Flenders were a commandment keeping family, why was Emily so worried????
Let's key in bit on what Benji said, "Of course, it's easy to understand why she might be worried. 1.7 kids per family, not to mention abortion...". Emily was the youngest in a family of 8 children and she and her siblings were headed here to earth where as Benji said families are normally quite a bit smaller, seen as unnecessary and definitely under valued. According to The Demographic Winter the peak during the height of the Baby Boom was only 3.7 children per woman and by the mid 1970s the average number of children 80% of women was already down 1.8!! Isn't this shocking?? The Demographic Winter continues to explain that in just one more generation our population will begin to decrease because most developed countries do not have a fertility rate (The average number of children born / lifetime of the average woman in a population) of above 2.13 children per woman. Why does this matter? As fertility rates continue to decline, eventually the world population will also decline and this means that those of us in the younger generations will need to work harder, be more educated, and produce more in order to maintain our current standards of life and sustain the economy. Thus we see that families and children are imperative to our society and our future.
Some of you may be thinking, "This is crazy talk!!! We grew up hearing about over population and the depletion of the environment. How is it that the population will already be declining??? What about that other Saturday's Warrior Song Zero Population: 'Everyday the world is getting smaller by far. Bursting at the seems.....What can we do? Zero population is the answer my friend,without out it the rest of us are through....'?" This opinion that the world is being overpopulated stemmed mainly from Paul Ehrlich's book the Population Bomb and his ideas became widely common among college students in the 1970s and 80s and was taken to be truth, but it doesn't make much sense when we put them in the context of D&C 104: 17, "For the earth is full, and there is room enough to spare...."
So taking into account the counsels of the living prophets, scripture, and the statistics presented in The Demographic Winter, my opinion is that all of us Jimmys (those of us who have already received our bodies and come to our earthly families) have the obligation and privilege of seeing to it that all of the Emilys who are waiting to come to earth receive that opportunity. Have children. Once you are married, multiply and replenish. Before you are married, be good a sibling, aunt, or uncle and contribute to your family. Our lives, our situations, and the world we live in are not perfect, but having less children is not the solution. The solution is continuing to have families and teaching them correct principles, so that they can help improve our world. Is someone or something in your family missing? As the Matron reminds Emily before she comes to earth, "Now remember child, this family you are going to is one of the very best, but it's still a risky proposition. It's a stormy place down there and it's a stormy Saturday night.Be courageous and remember who you are." Our families are the very best for each and everyone one of us and as much pain and torment as they may cause at times, they are well worth it because of the joys we experience with them (and the societal benefits that come when the population increases). ;)
I've also included via YouTube Saturday's Warrior, for your enjoyment and because I'll be referencing it a lot over the semester. ;) And a link for you to watch Demographic Winter to be as enlightened as I was this week. :)
Demographic Winter
References
Jimmy: "Hey now, those aren't tears. Are they?"
Ernie: "What's wrong with her?"
Alice: "I think she's just sad cuz she's the last one and she's worried that by the time it's her turn Mom and Dad might be out of gas."
Shelly: "Not want her?"
Jimmy: "You don't really believe that, do you Emily?"
Benji: "Of course, it's easy to understand why she might be worried. 1.7 kids per family, not to mention abortion..."
Jimmy: "Sshh! Benji! Don't ever say that word.
Shelly: "It's terrible!"
Julie: "If people only knew what they were doing...."
Pam: "Our family wouldn't be complete without you, Emily."
Emily: "But lots of people make promises about going to families, and then they break them."
Many of you may remember this seen from the film Saturday's Warrior when the Flenders children dispel little Emily's worries about being able to come to earth and go to their family, her chosen family. Well we don't exactly know how accurate this depiction is or how our families are chosen before this life or how exactly spirits are effected by our choices (at least I don't), but this scene gives us a lot to think about. Are we willing to live without a piece of our family because we decided that having children is too much trouble? What counsel are we given in respect to the number of children we have? And does it really matter how many children we have?
Elder Melvin J. Ballard said, "The greatest mission of woman is to give life, earth-life, through honorable marriage, to the waiting spirits, our Father’s spirit children who anxiously desire to come to dwell here in this mortal state." So we know that there are spirit children waiting to come to earth and it is our mission to multiple and replenish, so that like little Emily these spirits won't have to wait any longer than necessary for their turn on earth,but does this mean we all need to have dozens of children? No. True to the Faith gives counsel on this matter, "....you and your spouse will be prepared to prayerfully decide how many children to have and when to have them. Such decisions are between the two of you and the Lord." As sons and daughters of a Heavenly Father we claim the right to receive personal revelation from Him and to use our agency. The amount of children we have IS indeed important and DOES affect our families and the entire world, but each family is different with different circumstances and our Heavenly Father knows that. Okay so we know what the prophets have counseled in regards to having children and if the Flenders were a commandment keeping family, why was Emily so worried????
Let's key in bit on what Benji said, "Of course, it's easy to understand why she might be worried. 1.7 kids per family, not to mention abortion...". Emily was the youngest in a family of 8 children and she and her siblings were headed here to earth where as Benji said families are normally quite a bit smaller, seen as unnecessary and definitely under valued. According to The Demographic Winter the peak during the height of the Baby Boom was only 3.7 children per woman and by the mid 1970s the average number of children 80% of women was already down 1.8!! Isn't this shocking?? The Demographic Winter continues to explain that in just one more generation our population will begin to decrease because most developed countries do not have a fertility rate (The average number of children born / lifetime of the average woman in a population) of above 2.13 children per woman. Why does this matter? As fertility rates continue to decline, eventually the world population will also decline and this means that those of us in the younger generations will need to work harder, be more educated, and produce more in order to maintain our current standards of life and sustain the economy. Thus we see that families and children are imperative to our society and our future.
Some of you may be thinking, "This is crazy talk!!! We grew up hearing about over population and the depletion of the environment. How is it that the population will already be declining??? What about that other Saturday's Warrior Song Zero Population: 'Everyday the world is getting smaller by far. Bursting at the seems.....What can we do? Zero population is the answer my friend,without out it the rest of us are through....'?" This opinion that the world is being overpopulated stemmed mainly from Paul Ehrlich's book the Population Bomb and his ideas became widely common among college students in the 1970s and 80s and was taken to be truth, but it doesn't make much sense when we put them in the context of D&C 104: 17, "For the earth is full, and there is room enough to spare...."
So taking into account the counsels of the living prophets, scripture, and the statistics presented in The Demographic Winter, my opinion is that all of us Jimmys (those of us who have already received our bodies and come to our earthly families) have the obligation and privilege of seeing to it that all of the Emilys who are waiting to come to earth receive that opportunity. Have children. Once you are married, multiply and replenish. Before you are married, be good a sibling, aunt, or uncle and contribute to your family. Our lives, our situations, and the world we live in are not perfect, but having less children is not the solution. The solution is continuing to have families and teaching them correct principles, so that they can help improve our world. Is someone or something in your family missing? As the Matron reminds Emily before she comes to earth, "Now remember child, this family you are going to is one of the very best, but it's still a risky proposition. It's a stormy place down there and it's a stormy Saturday night.Be courageous and remember who you are." Our families are the very best for each and everyone one of us and as much pain and torment as they may cause at times, they are well worth it because of the joys we experience with them (and the societal benefits that come when the population increases). ;)
I've also included via YouTube Saturday's Warrior, for your enjoyment and because I'll be referencing it a lot over the semester. ;) And a link for you to watch Demographic Winter to be as enlightened as I was this week. :)
References
Stout, R. (Director). (2011). Demographic Winter
[Motion Picture].
Williams, B. (Director). (1989). Saturday's
Warrior [Motion Picture].
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Rain and Snow and Ice
As Julie reminded Wally in Saturday's Warrior, "I've stood here through it all- through short and fat and tall, through thick and thin and rain and snow and ice.......", our families have also stood through it all. Our families are there through our joys and sorrows, our illnesses, and our greatest accomplishments. They are there for it all and through it all, but sometimes they are there a little too often and come just a little too close. Families are a source of great joy in our lives especially when centered upon the gospel of Jesus Christ, but sometimes they can also cause us more pain and heartache than we can stand to bear. In this blog, we'll explore how families can be sources of both joy and torment and slowly but surely discover together if the joy they bring outweighs the torment and whether or not we want them by our sides in the "rain and snow and ice...." because from what I hear it gets mighty cold here in the Burg.
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